My Audition for So You Think You Can Dance

Like many bloggers, I got so far behind I couldn’t figure out how to re-enter my blog game. So, without further delay, here is what I experienced down in LA, in March, 2013. I had just turned 30, which is the absolute age ceiling for that show. I began training the first week of January, when the season was confirmed by Fox. Halfway through training, I learned I was expecting my first child, and thus, at the time of my audition, I was 8 weeks pregnant or so. NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED! But it was okay. đŸ˜€

Here’s what I said on Facebook that night (with typos corrected, hopefully):

Well, I danced for the producers and I got cut, along with 80% of everyone.

No one questioned me or my fat body in any way today. No mean looks, no comments, no negativity of any kind. While I was not given a specific explanation for my cut, the narrative I believe to be true is that what I did was not a joke, and they were only choosing the truly excellent dancers and the jokes. In this body, in that space, “not a joke” is an achievement I can wear proudly.

In terms of how the day went? It was approximately 10 hours of waiting (uncomfortably) in the theater, watching the crew work really really hard at creating the not lit, not dressed look of the LA audition space that will ultimately be televised. Those roadie cases at the back of the stage we can see on TV are METICULOUSLY ARRANGED, GUYS. I had approximately 2 pounds of personal snack materials and ate approximately half of them. The last 90 minutes was in a much smaller room with a dance floor, where we watched groups of ten perform for the producing panel which included alums Sasha, Marko, Tadd, Dominic, Dmitri, Audrey, Matthew, and FUCK YEAH ALEX WONG. Watching the others was the best part. There was some truly slamming talent and I look forward to seeing them go on. I also saw a dancer take a serious knee injury from a fall in a terrifying way. I definitely had a moment of panic when I got into the small room because GIRL I DID NOT BELONG but I did my thing anyway.

Cheers to all who have been watching out for me these past 2.5 months. I am so glad to have taken advantage of my last opportunity to do SYTYCD in the best way that I could.


Looking back on that now, I’m extremely proud. I got through the day on saltines and PB, with my baby on board. At the beginning of the session, they told all of us to bring it. “Look us right in the eye. Now or never.” And I did.

Here is what I prepared for the day: (Choreography by Katrin Auch.)

In reality, the cattle call was a 30 second improv to a random, vaguely genre-aligned song. Mine, as someone applying under the “contemporary” genre, was “Send in the Clowns.” I had my favorite sweatshirt on, and I loved it.


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